bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize