I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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