Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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