My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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