They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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