Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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