Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
