Got a toothbrush?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
