best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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