My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
