Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
