Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
