Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
