I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
