I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize