So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
