please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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