So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
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Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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