I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
