Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This is classic penis vs brain.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
