meet me or not, i'm out of control
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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