Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
