I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
