Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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