Im at strip club and am horny
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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