I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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