Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
