I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
