I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
