Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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