question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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