Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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