oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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