note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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