Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
