'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
