how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I currently don't understand fingers.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize