operation harelip BJ is a go
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
