woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
