Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Someone came in the potted fern
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
