O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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