I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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