what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
