My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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