Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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