I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
