I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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