I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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