I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so let's talk penis.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
