He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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