mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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