this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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