Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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