you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Randomize
