Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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