Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
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Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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