Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
