i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
