There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
worst night to have a conscience
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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